Old friends can become lovers, but can old lovers be friends?!

Friendship can turn into love but can love turn into friendship???

PART-1

Couples nowadays insist on staying friends after breaking up.I seriously fail to understand this concept .Let me try to liberalise my view and comment here.

After spending some wonderful moments together and due to unfortunate circumstances things dont work out between a couple and they have to take the next step,which is famously known as "breaking up"

What defines a break up is moving on with ur life and no longer attaching that someone to it.So what exactly does one intend on doing by keeping in touch with their x immediately after the break up.How can you be friends with someone u want to get out of your system?? Either the meaning of friendship changes or it is a pseudo-break up as I like to coin it.

I agree one has to be very open minded ,look at the matter maturely and not keep grudges with the other person. One might also pick the argument saying "What harm could it cause being friends??' but in real its not the question of having a grudge against someone its just trying to make an effort to stay away from the person for a while just to stabilise the mind, because if the mind is not stable the actions wont be either!.

So if there is a break up, Its always better to shut the person away from your system till ur mind is freed of all the mixed feelings and in a better position to judge the necessity of maintaining any sort of contact or friendship with the x!

People give various reasons as to why they want to keep in touch with their x's.Few being-

"He's a nice person and I am so used to him, I jus cant cut him off.Ill take time to get over him, I dont want him to stop talkin to me all of a sudden either as it will make me feel very miserable and make this hard.they say time heals everythin so i guess that will work our way too".

This is just like giving small doses of alcohol to an alcoholic under rehabilitation care just because he "likes" it, is so used to it, and it will make him feel better!!!! with this idea, it will only push him to further illness, not reliving his dependance and meanwhile virtually hoping for his recovery.What kind of rehabilitation can happen if there isnt an actual effort towards it.!!

Its not possible to get over someone when you are in touch with him/her.Past issues will invariably flash in front of your eyes like the small doses of alcohol and you wont be able to get over your attachement to the person.

When two people are in a relationship, they get used to each other, the importance etc.And just like alcoholics in rehab they suffer withdrawal symptoms after a break up.The withdrawal symptoms could be bouts of extreme loneliness, irritability, depression, regret,anger,jealousy etc.After a while the loneliness predominates, and if the two are friends, chances of gettin back together increase tremendously(provided both are lonely and miserable)! So now you'll tell me doesnt that become a perfect pseudo break up??;P

As every case has exceptions so does this circumstance, like for instance, in cases where things dont work out and end on a rough note, people again try to stay friends coz of factors like social obligations- eg both of them have common friends,This can be understood to some extent.

What I'm trying to say is when you face a break up, irrespective of how long it lasted our how it ended, of there isnt a tommorrow for you with the person then try not to keep him in your present too.When things seem pointless later they become pointless right now!

The inital month is hard, but once you battle that out it gets easier.You learn to come to terms with yourself, accept the hard reality slowly.No one can get over a relationship with the snap of a finger, it takes time! A lot of time maybe, but it all depends on the inital deciding step you take and thats by making a decision for yourselves.If the mind isnt convinced then no matter how much you try, you only find yourself failing at it.So once you are sure that the person you once shared the relationship with, isnt who you want to be with then it becomes easier to get over them.

Trying hard to move on is one thing and being stuck-up is another.Its all in the mind, You cant blame anyone else for not being able to get over your x, the power of doing that lies in your hand.

It all depends on how you use it.If someone doesnt make it to your future then they probably werent good enough or suitable enough to do so, and the reason for that will also be evident when u get to that stage in the future.

And never be with someone when the sole reason behind it is sympathy, coz when the sympathy dies, everything else does.

At times ive always noticed. people want to get back at their x's.Make them jealous, irritate them with their actions, try provoking them and gaining their attention in every possible way, but coming to think of it, if the so called x's would even get slightly affected by what they did then the question of breaking up wouldnt have risen.So as far as possible just dont waste your energy in that.If you've feel you've been cheated, then dont plot a revenge and do stupid things like that! Just let them be to themselves and remember- what goes around comes back around!

The fact that you learn to accept things is the true sign of inner power, a power which helps you control yourself along with your inner feelings and will surely make you feel greater than the other person.

Life didnt stop before you were with him/her and shouldnt stop after you two part ways.

I personally get very agitated with people who give suicidal threats after a break up- they are a bunch of morons!! If ever you break up with a person who succumbs to do the same then please thank your stars that you arent with him/her anymore!! All those actions just shouts out loud that the person was mentally sick

So dont be upset after a break up and remember that, the bottom line is, whatever happens, always happens for the good!.

signing off for now:)